Hillary Imagineers A Military Record, McCain Confuses The Enemy (not in the good way), Obama Still Trying To Figure Out How He Hasn’t Won Yet

Hillary Clinton is a fucking retard and for some reason she threw the kitchen sink at herself.

McCain is a dumbass, but the media is overplaying this issue. Just because the pundits only recently had to learn the difference between Sunni and Shiite doesn’t mean the theocro-geopolitics in the region are as simple as the Intro To Islam course all those pundits took at their local city college the second this cakewalk became a shit-sandwich. I’ve been astounded how little these idiots knew about world religion at the outset of this war–their ignorance is the mirror image of the fact that our military intelligence only speaks English and Pig Latin. So although McCain is wrong on the face of it, Ahmadinejad is a politician not a cleric and this war is not strictly a Holy War.

Obama has finally understood what we’ve known all along–that the only hardballs Chris Matthews cares about are the ones in Barry’s pants. So Obama is finally giving in and doing a Hardball College Tour next week. It’s gonna be the most romantic moment in television, and MSNBC’s first live salad-tossing.

Clinton has triangulated herself to the point where she can only get a fair interview on Fox News.

Obama’s new politics is The Tyranny of the Paypal. While the rest of us are worried about a recession, his overpaid fans have enough disposable income to cut him in on automatic-withdrawals from each paycheck. This is Change the upper middle class can believe in. Meanwhile, Michelle Obama is still complaining about not being able to pay off her student loans while she was making $350k/year… which can mean only one thing–she was the victim of Reverse-Scholarships.

Wright/Kaczynski 2008!