Hillary Balboa? Does that make Obama Apollo Creed or Clubber Lang?

Howard Wolfson, you need to muzzle your candidate if you expect to steal this election. The whole idea about dragging this on is that you anticipate Obama making some horrendous gaffe, but it seems that it’s ol’ Blockhead Clinton who’s hobbling around on one foot because the other one is lodged firmly between her teeth.

I didn’t buy the whole “roll of the dice” and “fairy tale” thing as racist code. I just didn’t.

I was however horrified by the Bosnia debacle, but I did still feel like the press was enjoying it a bit too much and was a little too excited to drop that Jeremiah Wright hot potato in favor of bashing on Hillary about Bosnia. Still, she lost about ten favorability points in my internal tracking poll (of myself) with that shit.

But it’s the Rocky thing that’s really making me uneasy, and for once the press isn’t jumping on it. They’re making fun of her for the comment, but I haven’t heard anyone point out the inherently racist undertones of Rocky. Sorry, maybe this is my repressed film school education spilling out here, but Rocky is a great film that also happens to be deeply racist. Not Birth of a Nation racist, but racist nonetheless. Philadelphia was deeply racially divided at the time Rocky was released (unlike now, mwahahahaha) and whiteys were still adjusting to the shift in boxing from wops and micks to blackies. Enter Sly Stallone: The Great Wop Hope (who some people would also consider white). Jeremiah Wright hates the “garlic-noses” who “killed Jesus,” so referencing a movie where spaghetti-bender Sylvester Stallone takes on the nubian prince Carl Weathers is just the sort of thing to get Wright back on the pulpit screaming about how the Jews invented Crabs.

Here’s my question for Hillary…

- Is she Rocky in Rocky 1, where he doesn’t win but he goes the distance in the ring with the great showman and superstar Apollo Creed? Will all our TVs freeze on a still-frame of Hill & Barry shaking hands at the end of the final debate and the convention itself happens offscreen during the credits?

- Is she Rocky in Rocky 2, where she gets a rematch (perhaps in Florida and Michigan) and finally beats the champ?

- Is she Rocky in Rocky 3… and Obama is Clubber Lang??? Dead meat!

- Is she Rocky in Rocky 4… and she’s gonna box Vladimir Putin?

I didn’t see 5… I guess that’s when she trains Chelsea or some shit. Anyhow, the racial subtext is kind of fucked up IMHO in this particular case. Anyhow… if she’s Rocky… and McCain’s Rambo… then I suppose that would make Obama Stud from “Party at Kitty and Stud’s.”

BTW- if the press misses this opportunity to bash Hill, then I’m calling it that overall the softball treatment of Barry in this campaign is less to do with the pundits having crushes on him and more to do with them being scared to discuss race. That would give further insight into the collective sigh of relief after his “race speech,” but it would also explain why they were so skeered to take on the Jeremiah Wright issue and gleefully moved on to cover traditional skullduggery when dumbass Hillary handed them the Bosnia story on a silver platter.